A Change Is About to Come…

Starting anew, I give to you Lord.

All that I am and ask that you order my steps.

Voicing my needs and leading me in the right direction,

Establishing me as a follower of your goodness.

Destiny in my right hand as I answer your call to the Promised Land.

 

 

A Story Worth Telling

The internal conflict rose from within and formed a raised, rigid bar-shaped lump between my breasts. My mind wondered what was wrong as my body urged my fingers to continue exploring the invader.   As I repeatedly rubbed my fingers along the growth, I made the decision to consult with a specialist. Hours after poking and prodding, the nurse confirmed their suspicions – I was carrying a deadly disease born from my environment as it damn sure was not hereditary.  When I stopped to really think about it, how would I know if I carried the gene? My parents and grandparents were all deceased before the age of 50…

I turned towards heaven and prayed, “It is not time to see my heavenly family yet. I have a lot of living to do.”  I took the BRACA gene test, providing a negative result, later finding out the cancer had metastasized, and lymph node removal was necessary.

As a non-medical professional, it was my decision to have a mastectomy and not allow breasts define me as a woman. Reconstruction brought on another set of issues as my body rejected the foreign objects. Giving up was not an option. I was going Home fighting if need be. 5 surgeries later, I was able to bid goodbye to my surgeons and search for a tattoo artist who was going to artistically replace a pair of areolas taken from my chest. I ended up right back at my plastic surgeon’s side to complete his masterpiece/my massacre.

Healthy mental stimulation won the battle over mental exhaustion.  I cleared the course on the road to recovery by taking action, partnering with medical professionals who care and asking personal journey questions of the warriors who are lovingly referred to as survivors. I reported for radiation treatments every week requesting replay of the band, Maroon 5’s hit song “ Sunday Morning” to lull me into a sense of security in the designated chamber in the basement of the local hospital.  My skin became tender and burned. Still I returned for each and every treatment. How did I protect my skin? African Shea butter became my ally, my protector. The beauty of my black skin would illicit the same question over and over; “where did you go for vacation?” I simply smiled and responded, “I am on staycation.”

I stood up to external conflict when it came to dating. I continued to finger pop and twirl across the dance floor as if everyone was watching my performance. I met some handsome, strong men who stepped up and made their intentions known. I responded in kind instead of fleeing.  Like a person burdened with a lingering STD, I made an announcement before consensual contact: “Before we take this any further, I have something I have to tell you. I am a breast cancer survivor and I have some serious scars that you should be aware of…”. Curiosity stood in the face of fear and allowed me to have some of the best sexual experiences I am able to recall.

I thank my suitors for their gentleness, love and faith in taking a broken person and helping her put each piece back together again.

8 years later, I proudly tell the story of a woman who continues to be determined, loves hard and learned how to live a life with a body that betrayed her but never took away the dignity her ancestors bestowed upon the motherless daughter.

This is my story worth telling so all can move beyond internal and external conflict that rears its ugly head.

There may be a pause along the journey called Life but don’t you give up.

What you believe, you will achieve.

Juggle the obstacles presented to you and smile with appreciation towards the heavenly sky.

Whatever gets you through the day, hold onto it.

Keep it on reserve and use the magic whenever needed.

You.Got.This.

Peace and blessings to life lived and celebrated. 💞

TrevaJeanice Spencer

8 years and still dancing!

2019 marks 8 years of tumors removed from my breast.  Yay, me!! How do I celebrate?  I continue to dance, continue to sing (off key, I might add) and laugh, literally out loud!

I would love to have you join me at the Making Strides Against Breast Cancer Walk taking place on Saturday, October 12th at Meadowsland Stadium in New Jersey.

Come celebrate with me!

If you are unable to attend, won’t you consider making a donation to Team M.A.D.?

We continue to strive to Make A Difference.

http://main.acsevents.org/goto/teammad

 

An Ode to Love – LeRoy and Nadine R.

black hands

Our knight in shining armor left us way too soon due to a tragic car crash.  It was very hard to pick up the pieces for Mom and her two daughters.  I have always wondered where the passion for writing derived – now I know.  My sister shared with me our mother’s writings for her husband.

“Tears on the outside, fall to the ground and are slowly swept away.  Tears on the inside, fall on the soul and stay, and stay, and stay.”

“Though your smile is gone forever, your hand I cannot touch, I will never lose the memories of the man I love so much.  Love will keep us together.”

“Time may fly and tears may dry.  The memories of you will never die.”

“Silent thoughts and tears unseen, wishing your absence was only a dream.  We often wonder why you had to die, without a chance to say goodbye.  May our Lord hold you in His arms, love and give you peace, happiness and grant you with eternal rest till we will all meet again.”

“Is it too soon for a second love?  I don’t know how to let go of the past.  There’s no going Home again.”

Nadine R. 1942 – 1989

LeRoy R. 1929 – 1976

 

Words To Live By… – Heartfelt Heat

“Books allow you to be whoever you want to be; to escape yourself for a while.”

“The real thing when done right is always better than a dream.”

“Take life by the horns and ride that wave for all that it is worth.”

“May your feet take you where your hearts wants to go.”

“If you love someone, tell the person.  Forget about the rules or the fear of looking ridiculous.  What is truly ridiculous is passing up on an opportunity to tell someone that your heart is vested in him or her.”

“When love is a non-binding contract, it really isn’t love after all.”

“Why does Black Lives Matter for only 28 days out of an entire year?”

“We all need to feel significant, security and prioritized.”

“Make sure to run the race of life with patience.”

“Walk worthy within the life that you have been called for.”

“The mind is the key to change of minds, attitudes, and beliefs.”

Author

College Tips For You, My Daughter

Daughter Pillow

  1. Pray daily and be thankful for His Grace and Mercy.
  2. Learn your surroundings. Become familiar with the entire campus.
  3. Be open to new friendships and cultures.
  4. When in need of help, don’t be afraid to ask for it.
  5. Build relationships with your professors.
  6. Keep your dorm area clean, neat and organized.
  7. Secure your belongings so you don’t lose track of them.
  8. Focus on your studies. This is your time to shine.
  9. Eat healthy and drink lots of water.
  10. Balance your school work and extra-curricular activities.
  11. Rest well so you will have the energy to conquer each day.
  12. Enjoy and appreciate your independence.
  13. Keep cash stashed away for incidentals.
  14. Call me and let me know how you are doing.
  15. Remember, you are loved.

A Thoughtful Travel Itinerary

Maria talks to her six-year old daughter constantly about girl empowerment.  She wants her to believe that she can do anything that she puts her mind to.  They often sit and discuss current events taking place across the  United States and within the community in which they live.   No question and answer are off-limits.  A recurring subject in the household is the homeless population that plagues NY.  The child wished that each person had a place to call home where they could rest their head in comfort as well store all of their clothes.  Maria and her daughter discussed the meaning of shelters and how they are used as temporary housing to assist those less fortunate.  The child appeared to understand.

A week later, another topic of discussion was world travel.  Maria shared with her daughter all of the places she has been able to visit and vibrantly described each location hoping to entice interest.  “Lil Maria” devised a travel plan all on her own and could not wait to share with her parents.  She waited until her parents finished dinner, requested they all sit in the living room and listen to her plan.  The little woman animated her travel plans to the Caribbean and Europe and the length of her stay at the various sites.  Maria posed a question, “That sure is a lot of travel.  What type of transportation will you take and where will you stay?”  “Lil Maria” proudly announced, “I will fly from place to place and stay at shelters until I make it back home!”  Maria looked at her husband in astonishment and quickly regrouped to continue conversation about shelters and introduce as well as share, new information about hostels.

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