“I Know You Mean Well, But…” Post # 4

4.  Don’t tell me about the rumor you heard regarding “June or Joe” who died several months after being diagnosed with breast cancer.


I remember the day the doctor diagnosed with me cancer as if that day was today (not yesterday, but today).  The shock never goes away.  The battle becomes your daily grind.  Again, I have to get my mind right in order to deal with the matter at hand.  I am trying to live.  Choose the words that you want to convey to me wisely.  Encourage and uplift me with your words.  Don’t tell me who recently died, that is like speaking death into my life; no death sentences (literally!) for me.

 A sorority sister of mine battled cancer for many years.  It started while she was in college with a diagnosis of breast cancer that metastized over the years throughout her body.  Her battle continued for over 20 years until the Lord called her home early August.  Upon receiving the phone call, my heart went out to a sister friend who leaves a teenaged son behind to mourn but I would not be human if I did not say how personal her death meant to me.  Death so close to home makes me visualize my thankfulness to be alive but also how one day a test can give me a result that will shake me to the core.  I want to live an additional 5 decades so I can tell those around me about my life experiences.  I want to beat the odds after enduring a masectomy, hormonal and radiation treatments.  I want to talk to others and be an inspiration.  I want to speak face to face with believers not through my writing.  Angel left us all too soon.  At the age of 45, I believe that  is just the beginning of a coherent story.  I pray that she lives on through her family, friends and in me.


God created me; my parents nurtured me and I am still living, learning, and loving.  There is much more for me to do in this life.  I do believe God is not ready for me yet as I have not finished His work here on earth.  I need you to help me to live in abundance Grace.  You can send me a text; send an email, pick up the phone and dial my number or simply smile and wave when you see me walk by.  Not all days are good for me.  You can help me move a frown into a smile in a matter of minutes.  If you don’t know it, I appreciate all of you and your heartfelt kindness.  Thank you for acknowledging me and thank you for continuing to be a part of my life.



Treva Jeanice


“I Know You Mean Well, But…” #2

#2.  Do not ask to see the mastectomy scar.

That is just plain rude.  Why would I whip out my boobie(s) and expose myself just to satisfy your curiosity?  If a newly diagnosed person needed to and wanted to see the transitional stage; perhaps, maybe I would consider.  I am not a freak; I am not on display.  Respect my privacy and I do yours.  A mastectomy is a removal of the breast which is very personal and in some instances, define a woman.  Imagine having to show your spouse or significant other the scar at some point in the relationship and the fear one carries  of rejection that may or may not take place.  If you think it, you usually believe it.  We survivors carry self-esteem issues and do not need the added burden of exposures to others outside of family and medical specialists. 

Yes, breast reconstruction is available.  Reconstruction are implants.  A substitute; to take the place of.  While the phase is taking place, you pray your plastic surgeon is shaping and molding the new creations to your liking.  Will they be too large?  Too small?  Too high? 

Expanders are inserted immediately after surgery.  They are uncomfortable initially and take some getting used to.  A visit to the plastic surgeon’s office each week will assist you in “expanding your bust”.  It is true for women, “no pain, no gain.”  Try having someone inject saline solution into each breast/sac for boob development.  Painkillers become your breast friend.  Just remember to not to become dependent upon the sedated feeling.

Again, I know you mean well but don’t say that…